YOU MAY WANT TO SIT DOWN FOR THIS

I tried Snapple for the first time ever. It’s the first time I’ve had iced tea. It was like whoa, because it’s iced tea, but it tastes like juice - but it’s tea! WHAT?!

Abs got us a giant bottle of green ginger iced tea for the road. My life will never be the same.

We’re currently in Florida, thrifting our brains out in our little hire car that we’re beginning to think is too little after today’s haul.

Just to recap - I left the BJs in Conway NH a couple days ago, hung out on Governor’s Island in NYC and took in some Shakespeare, then met Abs in Miami Florida after a night of mild panic about Gustav. But everything has been hot and sticky and not a drop of rain or wind to be had. Perhaps Hanna will give us pause, but in the meantime we are holed up in Valdosta Georgia after a couple days in the Orlando Florida area, thrifting our brains out. Valdosta seems a little rougher than we’d like, and we have locked and bolted the doors after being hassled by some drunk dudes downstairs.

Went to use “the restroom” at a restaurant tonight.  A guy was already waiting.

I asked - “Is this the queue?”

He laughed and said “Hey - great computer joke”

I sort of looked blank and said “that wasn’t intentional.”

He said “Well then, like a Netflix joke”

So it turns out people don’t wait in a queue, they stand on line or something.

BJo is sitting in another room, laughing her head off at Will and Grace.

To the person who found this site searching for “sara lee cake song” - welcome!!

…is what my sister said as she drove us back to her apartment in Brooklyn.

After the UK visa delay killing my month in Nova Scotia dream, John Henry’s death and the BJs subsequent vehicle registration horror drastically reducing our road trip plans, I had the plane ride from hell coming to NYC.

The 14 hour flight to LAX was not so bad, I got an extra seat to myself, but didn’t find a new friend for life like Cutz did. I don’t mean to be a whinger, but I really got used to having my own personal screen, so not having one this time around was pretty awful. On a long haul flight like Australia to anywhere? Bitch please. But really, it wasn’t so bad.

The four hour layover in LAX was delayed 4 or 5 times because of stormy weather in NYC. The last delay was because they couldn’t get the plane door open. So 4.5 hours later we were finally on our way. Once we got to JFK we had to stay in a holding pattern for half an hour waiting for a chance to land, and then we spent another half hour sitting around waiting for a free gate. Meanwhile the airport people were telling Sis the airport was closing so she was tearing her hair out thinking I was lost in the ether.

Anyway, in the end we got home at about 4.30am and here we are. The weather is especially warm and humid (”Funny. It was really nice and cool before you turned up” - Sis). This morning Sis showed me her garden patch which is overgrown with tomatoes and tomatillos and figs.

Immigration officials were quite nice this time around.

My NYC flight is an hour and a half late.

The Internet is my saviour.

My bag is heavy because of all the tim tams and mint slices, but not so much the giant packet of toobs.

Elevator sax music is not ok.

Got my UK Visa.  Good on them, it took as long as they said it would.  Well, a bit longer.  I was expecting my passport next week, but it arrived today, and now the Germans have it.  Passport and I will reunite once again on Monday, and then I’m OUTTA HERE.  I believe I’ll delay my trip anyway, as the time I spent in limbo wasn’t exactly motivating me to clean up life’s dregs in preparation for the ol’ heave ho, so let the running around begin.

I finish up at Fairfax tomorrow, and today was my last day at aftercare.  Kelly hugged me hard and told me I was her favourite (she was just saying that).  Got a few other hugs in.  The aftercare staff gave me flowers and Sara Lee cake (I love Sara Lee) and a card.  We plan to have a night out on the town.

So I kind of, sort of went to see Mamma Mia today. Alone. If it seems a little sad, well in my defense, in the small-ish almost empty cinema sat a pair of buff dudes on a bro-date and another lone guy - among other folk, some of whom were female. My point is that out of everyone, I wasn’t the lamest one there. But I digress.

Secretly I had harbored hopes that the film would win me over in spite of its dorky pedigree, especially as I kind of, sort of, sometimes, like ABBA (and musical theatre - you’d think I’d be in 7th Heaven when the two powers combine) but the cringe set in pretty much from the start. The problem was the over-simplistic direction that was dedicated to showing off the location but not much else. Poor scene blocking and minimal choreography that was badly shot. Pantomime visual gags. Meryl Streep singing a line - cut to goofy Greek hired help singing backup looking bemused, isn’t that hilarious. It had some of the most appalling continuity I’ve ever seen - and this is in spite of it being essentially a series of musical sequences. Even in this context, all the little time jumps and broken action were jarring to say the least. I feel like a music video director would have done a much better, much more imaginative job of shooting the musical numbers. I found the visual image of Colin Firth in 70s a disco bell bottomed jumpsuit and silver platform boots deeply, deeply, deeply disturbing, and I realise it was all meant in fun. I respect him (and the rest of the cast) for embracing it with good humour. It was. just. so. disturbing.

But Meryl Streep is just awesome. She’s beautiful, she’s a great actress, and her singing really is pretty good, she really got into it, and the way she did “The Winner Takes It All” was just all class, like it was a real musical number rather than just hello here’s an opportunity to throw in another ABBA song. I felt sorry for Pierce Brosnan who wasn’t directed to do anything while she sang that 3 minute song, except stand there like a douche bag. All the actors threw themselves into their respective roles and did great, Colin Firth in disco garb and general crap male singing notwithstanding. Just a pity about the average filming execution and it didn’t quite own its dorkiness enough to offset the cringe. Not for me anyway. My ma and her friends LOVED IT.

The End.

Note: I’m not obsessed with ABBA. I just accept that their songs are really catchy and somehow know the lyrics to most of the tunes. I don’t know how, I think it’s a repressed memory thing.

The interminable wait for my UK visa to come through continues.  A blessing in disguise perhaps, because there’s so much to do, at least, I think there’s a lot, but my list-making skills leave a lot to be desired right now.  I can’t propel myself into action when I have no idea how much longer I’ll be waiting.  I haven’t done the most basic things like organise a suitcase or travel sized versions of all my toiletries.

In the meantime my steady resolve to leave Sydney wavers with a nostalgia and affection for home and a growing desire to spoon with everyone I know.

Anyhoo, if anyone has any tips they’d like to share about Berlin, please share away!

I’m pleased and proud to announce some sort of old-ish but still relatively new news about record label Room To Manoeuvre - spelled with the Queen’s English, if you please.

RTM Records comes courtesy of my dear partner-in-crime Luke, member of Alphatown, writer of killer tunes, award winning sound-designer, Pro-Tools wunderkind, and now record label dude.  Two vinyl releases already out and a third on the way!  Launch party next week.  If you read this blog, you’ve probably already been invited, if not and you’re interested in coming - let me know!

Me: Hey I just watched all fifteen eps of Friday Night Lights’ season two in roughly thirty hours.
Luke: That’s really nothing to be proud of Que.

He’s right.  But I am.